Update on Grandma

I went and visited Grandma again today, and she was looking great!  They had already moved her out of ICU and into a private room. She had been up walking already (which I can't even imagine I could do so quickly with THAT kind of surgery) and when I arrived, she was sitting up in a chair.  She's hoping to go home on Friday, but it's more likely that it'll be Saturday.  I didn't stay as long as I had intended, but Grandma was getting tired and starting to have some pain, so we decided to go so she could get some pain medication and rest.  I'll visit her again tomorrow on my way home from Lafayette.  I'll have Izzy with me this time and I know that'll make Grandma pretty happy.

Andrea and Taylor also came to visit at the same time, and after we left Grandma, we went to the Pediatric ICU to visit the nurses who had taken care of Matthew last year.  This was a BIG step for Andrea, and I'm VERY proud of her.  One of the nurses was there, and I think it did a lot for Andrea to talk to her....someone that she shared that experience with her. 

While Andrea was catching up with the nurse, I saw a child in one of the rooms....probably not much older than Matthew was.  His parents were covering him/her with a blanket, and it was just such a tender moment to witness....like being a fly on the wall, but I almost felt like an intruder even being on the same floor.  His/her head was wrapped up in gauze, and there was a breathing tube...I'm guessing he/she was in a coma.....not sure, and it's really not the point.

The point is that I'm sometimes amazed at how emotional I am now in regards to children.  I've always been sensitive to it...no one wants to see a child hurting.  But seeing that child lay there, with the parents....I could just imagine for a second what that would be like if that were Izzy....my throat started to clench....my eyes filled with tears....I swear it made my heart hurt to think about it.  How do these parents find the strength to leave the bedside for any amount of time?

We can't, and won't be with our children 24 hours a day for the rest of their lives....and even if we are, we can't always protect them.   I understand why this has been so hard for Andrea...dealing with Matthew's death.  I think I was so disconnected from it then that I didn't fully comprehend the impact, or all of the emotions.  I understand how parents in that situation will hold on to the tiniest shred of hope that their little one will be OK, even in the most dire of circumstances.  I get it.  And I'd do the same for Izzy....without a doubt.

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