Starting steroids...

Well, today is the day I've been dreading. I've been dreading it so long that I don't know what it's like to not dread it. I've dreaded it since Izzy was only a few months old, because I knew I'd have to start them again after I started breastfeeding. And I HATED stopping breastfeeding, partly because I knew I'd have to go on them again. But then I decided that I was going to wait until September, no matter what. I didn't want to gain all that weight during the summer again, because that meant no more trips to the pool, and being so uncomfortable all the time. I sweat A LOT on steroids (one of the many side effects, I guess), and I just didn't want to deal with it. But, my kidney decided otherwise, and I kind of felt that I didn't have a choice anymore. Especially now that Izzyboo has entered our lives.

So, I took those bitter pills this morning (figuratively AND really). And I cried. I needed some time alone to get it out of my system. I REALLY want to wallow today, but I keep picking myself back up and trudging through, trying to forget, but already imagining what's to come. I wanted Joacim to take Izzy on a walk with Murphy this morning so I could be alone, but she had other plans, which may be a blessing in disguise, I guess. Life is going to keep going, and Izzy is going to keep needing me, so, while I'll wallow occasionally, I'll always have to remember that I gotta buck up for her.

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